Signs of a Fake Best Friend: How to Recognize Them Before It's Too Late

The feeling of betrayal from a friend—especially someone you trust deeply—is one of the most gut-wrenching experiences. What makes it worse is the realization that these warning signs were there all along, but you ignored them. Let’s dive deep into understanding the subtle signs of a fake best friend, so you can protect yourself before the damage is done.

1. They Disappear During Tough Times

You’re having a rough patch, maybe it’s a bad breakup, a family issue, or a financial crisis. Where is your “best friend”? Instead of being the shoulder to cry on or the person offering support, they vanish. They’re always too busy or have something else going on whenever you need them most. It’s convenient for them to be around when things are going great, but the real test of friendship comes during hardships.

2. They’re Jealous of Your Success

A true best friend celebrates your wins as if they were their own. But a fake friend? They might give you a lukewarm congratulations, but behind your back, there’s jealousy brewing. They’ll downplay your accomplishments or even shift the conversation to themselves. Jealousy is one of the clearest signs of a fake friend. If you notice that your friend isn’t genuinely happy for you when things are going well, it’s a red flag.

3. Conversations Are Always About Them

Ever find yourself in a conversation with your friend, and they’re constantly steering it back to their own problems or stories? Fake friends are narcissistic. They thrive when the attention is on them and couldn’t care less about your feelings or opinions. In fact, the moment you try to share something personal or important, they zone out or quickly change the subject.

4. They Talk Behind Your Back

No one likes gossip, but it’s a reality in many social circles. A fake best friend, however, will actively spread rumors about you or reveal secrets you trusted them with. If you hear from others that your "friend" has been talking behind your back, it's a significant indicator that they don’t have your best interests at heart. True friends protect your reputation, even when you're not around.

5. You Feel Drained After Hanging Out With Them

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with your friend. Do you feel energized, supported, and uplifted? Or do you feel emotionally drained, tired, and even anxious? Fake friends are emotional vampires. They take and take, rarely giving back in terms of emotional support or kindness. If you often leave interactions with them feeling worse than before, they might not be a true friend.

6. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

How often does your friend check in just to see how you're doing? If they only contact you when they need a favor, it’s a huge red flag. Fake friends prioritize their needs over your friendship. They’ll act like your best buddy when they need a ride, a loan, or someone to vent to, but the moment you need something from them? Radio silence.

7. Lack of Trustworthiness

Do you trust them? Truly? Can you share your deepest thoughts and feelings without worrying they’ll leak it to someone else? Trust is the cornerstone of any real friendship. If you can’t trust your friend with your vulnerabilities, what kind of friendship is it? A fake best friend may let you down repeatedly, whether by not keeping promises or revealing things you told them in confidence.

8. They Make You Feel Insecure

Your best friend should make you feel good about yourself. They should lift you up, support your dreams, and help you see the best version of yourself. But a fake friend does the opposite. They’ll make passive-aggressive comments, criticize your choices, or even make jokes at your expense. Over time, you might start doubting your self-worth. If your friendship makes you feel more insecure than confident, it’s time to reevaluate.

9. They’re Competitive with You

Friendship isn’t a competition. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. However, with a fake friend, everything feels like a race. Who’s more successful? Who’s got more attention? Who's in a better relationship? They might even try to one-up you when you share something positive. True friends celebrate each other without feeling the need to compete, but a fake friend can’t stand the idea of you being better than them at anything.

10. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Have you ever set a boundary with your friend—whether it’s about your time, personal space, or privacy—and they’ve completely disregarded it? A lack of respect for boundaries is a significant indicator of a fake friendship. They’ll push your limits, make you feel guilty for saying “no,” or try to manipulate you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with. Real friends respect your boundaries and value your well-being over their own desires.

What to Do If You Recognize These Signs

If you're reading this and recognizing some (or all) of these behaviors in your so-called best friend, don’t panic. It’s common to misjudge people’s intentions, especially when emotions are involved. However, now that you’re aware of the signs, it’s time to take action. You don’t need to cut ties immediately, but you should:

1. Set clear boundaries: Let them know what behaviors are unacceptable and see how they react.
2. Communicate your feelings: Sometimes, people aren’t aware of how they’re making others feel. An honest conversation can make a huge difference.
3. Reevaluate the friendship: If they continue to exhibit fake friend behaviors, it might be time to distance yourself or end the relationship altogether. True friendship is based on mutual respect, trust, and support. You deserve nothing less.

Friendship should be one of the most fulfilling relationships in life. Don’t settle for less.